Rahul Bose, an actor - an activist

Today I was listening to this interview by Rahul Bose in IBN. It was very interesting. An actor turned into activist.
I was thinking that having clear opinion about things around you is very important, and to speak up those views in logical manner is equally important. To achieve clarity, one need to observe, inspect, and conclude.
I liked what Rahul Bose said " There are so many things which makes you unhappy, there is no point in ignoring those things. Accept them and then try to find a solution."
One should probably try to find things which makes him unhappy. And act on them, not just digest 'em with beer.
On the other hand, it is good to know that there are young people in India who are thinking about social issues. I always think Indians have a brilliant sense of patriotism, they lack in the spirit of bringing life to their thoughts. Indians think about social issues, moan over country's problems, yeah we all do, but those thoughts are futile until they are materialized.

Audioslave - I Am The Highway Live

Artist: Audioslave
Song: I Am The Highway Lyrics


Pearls that swim the rift of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow I feel
For anything I feel yea

I am not your rolling wheels
I am a highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky

Friends and liars
Don’t wait for me
Cause I’ll get on
All by myself
Put millions of miles
Under my heels
And still too close to you
I feel

I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the sky here
I am not your automn moon
I am the night
The night

I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet rag
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightining
I am not your automon
I am the night

To Prof. sethi

Dear Prof. Sethi,
It has been long since i wanted to write to you, or wanted to talk to you.
There have been numerous Air pollution classes after which I emphasized myself to write to you after the class, there have been numerous introspecting nights thinking i must write to you next morning, I am not sure of what kept me from writing to you, and I could not explain what prompted me so severely that I am writing to you finally.
Many classes of Air pollution in which i could grasp somethings so peacefully, which i could never expect myself to get through made me owe all that understanding to you, and made me think that what all I could have learned which i didnt, due to sheer lack my discipline or lack of clairvoyance.
Life in US till now have been experiencing, somewhat numb experiencing. All i learnt since i came here is to ignore the significance of any motive, thinking just nothing matters in life seen as a whole. Kept my mind blank most of the time, with eyes, ears open for anything new or known to come.
Still somewhere sometimes, I am that old confused self who told you that I dont know why I am going to US, whether I should go or not. After the day I left India, I have never forced myself again to think in that direction. Forcing myself just with the feeling that there is no motive for my being here, except to experience.
When people ask me do you like it here, i usually answer I never thought of it...sometimes i add to this " ya, but each passing day do augment value of India to me".
But life has been really very good and experiencing here till now. I found one very good, basically integral friend, and other interesting friends, so fun in life has not deteriorated in any sense.
Just that recently when i went to a conference, for a poster presentation of little work I have done till now; I realized same sense of repulsion which i felt before deciding that I am going to US. A sense that I dont want to be 50-60 and still doing the same stuff, asking questions, describing stuff about my research and saying some great things about air quality and gaining respect from people who are new into the "business". Maybe this is a mere "passing by" kind of thought, but shaked me somewhere within.
I have been reading "The fountainhead" by Ayn Rand, which make these thoughts more complex at times.
In the end I am happy with what i am doing, with my humor and fun intact, but having many questions which i usually avoid bringing to the surface.
Only one thing i expect out of myself "integrity", which is sometimes too difficult to achieve and still easy to work on.
Dont take this email as seeking-advice-mail, or keeping-contact-mail. Kindly take it as my acknowledgement to your presence in my actions and inspiration - to do what I am doing.

~Regards
Harshit Agrawal

Reality is an illusion, caused by Lack of Alcohol

Yesterday, i went to the CRC conference. It was great, many great people around, okay not many, some great people around, name of whom if had heard and the papers of whom I had reviewed at IIT for my thesis.
Sometimes I feel it is something with me, since I have been in US, i dont feel excited that very often, rather rarely. Some People used to wonder why i didnt get excited when i first was going at 70 mph on a freeway, why i didnt get excited when i first saw freeways merging togther in their magnificence, why i didnt get excited when i see new places here, why meeting Dr. David Kittleson was not that exciting, why...:|. Anyways...
While I was at the conference, one thought kept on striving in my mind, the thought wanted to survive to fit in my mind, and somehow i wanted it to die, not to come again that often on a same day. Thought that "I dont want to be 50 or 60 and stil working on the same damn stuff, asking questions to some graduate student-about why PM is high and why OC is low or why this study, why that study, why air quality?". But then I thought whatever i may be doing I would not want to do it, by the time i am 50 or 60, except if there is some work related to art, music or wrok tagging creativity in its essential and visible sense.
One more prominent thought that was blinking intermittently in my brain was" you know what, when you have someone loving around always, someone to go for rescue after your frustration of the day, you can forget abt everything and go on work next day with same passion next morning, provided it does not happen that often." But then one contradictory thought arose: "Is this good for a person, finding rescue in someone else, apart from your own self, making you running away from your worries...making you ask yourself to go on like the same way as it is going."

Could not discuss it with anyone, could not conclude the thoughts. Afterall many questions only experience can answer.
In the end i went to a really nice Indian restaurant in San Diego- "Monsoon", very famous around in san diego. Had really nice food and chilled Indian Beer "King fisher" (after so many months, since i have come here), which led me to the reality.....at the end of the day.

Need to be needed

A person should strive to be independent. It always takes a small courage to start becoming independent for anything in life, just a small spark.
Slightly paradoxical but true, fact is however independent you become you would need people, sometimes for big things, sometimes for small favors. Also in this symbiotic world everyone wants to be needed. People deal differently when they are needed. I have felt there are three kind of people when it comes to the way people deal with others needing you.

First category include people who want people to need them so they can or because they do rely on them for their needs. This is most professional form of needing, and serves as best need based results.

Other category is that kind of people who love to help others in need, just to feel good about themselves, feeling that they are caring enough and thus internally confirm to themselves that they are nice and helpful people. These kind of people are sensitive and make really good friends.

The third and most distressing category of people are those who want to be needed and then derive confidence from people being needing them. These kind of people are mostly insecure and need constant dosage of this "need based confidence" to fertilize their self esteem. These kind of people are highly frustrating when you need them, they would do stuff like; layoff even if they feel they can help instantly, they would want people to be needed and they blurt out loud that these guys keep coming to me and keep bothering me. They always want you to be grateful. These people are those guys who you should never need.

There is nothing wrong in needing someone, or needing to be needed; the important thing is to make sure who you are needing and if the person you are needing is just satisfying his "need based confidence", you just need to remember it just requires an initial sudden courage to become independent, whatever it may be.

my post it! has nothing on it :-?

there was time when, whenever i used to think and jot down what i need to do for next few hours, day or week, i usually had my post it filled completely, but today i took a big paper and wrote all the coming dates with days on it, but i literally had nothing to put on it, felt weird and disturbed. Really feels weird, right? sometimes you have loads to do and you are tensed and sometimes you have nothing to do and you worry abt see i have nothing to do, i dont know what i am going to do next hour, and you worry in both the situations, what if this continues for whole life... :)

life is good...a fable to reassert

Arthur Ashe, the legendary tennis player (The first black player to win the Wimbledon), was dying of CANCER. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease?" To this Arthur Ashe replied "The world over -- 5 crore children start playing tennis, 50 lakh learn to play tennis, 5 lakh learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach , 50 reach the grand slam Wimbledon, 4 to the semifinals, 2 to the finals. When I was holding a cup, I never asked GOD "Why me?" And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?" Happiness keeps u sweet....Trials keep u strong....Sorrow keeps u human....Failure keeps u humble....Success keeps u glowing....But only Ur Attitude & Trust keeps u going!!